Physically, being a mother is draining. Especially a breast feeding mother, because let's face it, you can try to sleep through the night but if your baby doesn't wake you up your boobs will. So being a breast feeding, working mother is even harder because long gone are the mid-day naps and sleeping past 5:30am. Instead of being able to take time to get ready in the mornings it's now a rush to make myself presentable, nurse Eleanor or pump, and try to fit in a little breakfast (Starbucks if Im lucky enough). I swear I get less sleep now than before.
Emotionally, I was a wreck the first day Eleanor was in daycare. I felt so guilty (which you'll know if you read the previous post) an still do. I love coming home and cuddling with her or rocking her to sleep or playing on the tummy time mat. I used to take these things for granted.
Mentally, Im on overload. It's almost like having pregnancy brain all over again. People talk to me and I zone out, or I forget what I was going to say or do, or it takes me forever to complete a simple task. It's a lot to keep in order: the mom mind, the work mind, the girlfriend mind, etc.
Returning to work was something everyone tried to prepared me for, but ultimately was something I had to experience for myself to fully understand how it would feel. It's all so overwhelming. Thankfully I've survived the first 3 weeks so far and so has Eleanor.
No comments:
Post a Comment