But I don't wanna go to daycare ...

I start work next Tuesday and I feel completely conflicted about it already. It's a conundrum I'm sure many working moms have dealt with: I wanna go back to work, re-join the adult world, and have more mental stimulation than I've had the last eight weeks; but on the flip side I really don't want to leave my baby girl with some other person for hours at a time.

 Ugh.

Originally I was supposed to start work on Monday, but after thinking about the emotional turmoil I'm going to be in, I decided to start work on a day when I know Eleanor will be home with Gavin so I can focus on work instead of Eleanor being in daycare -the real emotional overload will come Thursday when she goes to daycare and I'm at work.

I know it isn't the worse thing that could happen, and she'll only be in daycare three days a week because Gavin is off two weekdays and I'm off weekends. Gavin and I have talked about me being a stay-at-home mom, but it just works for best for our family right now if I go back to work -mainly for insurance purposes. And I'm a woman who needs to be mentally challenged in some way -school or work- in order to stay sane. Staying home is a possibility in the future, so we'll see where we are in the coming months.

Wish me luck next week. And wish Gavin luck, as he's the one who will have to drop her off at daycare.

How are we supposed to leave this beautiful face everyday?